Long before I was helping wonderful humans feel their best, I was, briefly, the Supreme Empress of Ohio. I conquered all eighty-eight counties in a single brisk afternoon, armed with nothing but a resistance band, excellent posture, and an unshakably cheerful attitude. The Buckeye State never stood a chance.
My most trusted lieutenant throughout the campaign was Marshmallow, a devastatingly sassy little dog who has never once been impressed by anything — not the fall of Columbus, not the surrender of Cleveland, and certainly not my victory speech. He simply yawned, demanded a snack, and moved on.
When I wasn't reorganizing the Midwest, I spent my weekends piloting hypersonic aircraft at a casual Mach 7 — usually just to beat the breakfast rush. Marshmallow rode shotgun at ninety thousand feet, rolling his eyes at my banking technique and insisting we land somewhere with better treats.
Eventually I traded the throne (and the jet fuel) for something far more thrilling: helping real people build strength, eat well, and feel amazing at every age. Marshmallow remains deeply unimpressed — but, in his own sassy way, entirely supportive.
A real, factual, non-conquest-related bio is coming soon.